I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.
Psalm 27:13
Are God's promises true? When God speaks something into your spirit, do you believe it? When things seem to be falling apart, can you still praise God and trust that He won't fail you? Have you ever wanted to throw in the towel?
We recently got back from "scouting the land" the Lord has shown us. I want to start off with what became a huge disappointment and then later share where we are now. As you know our walk with the Lord is one of faith. We have been trusting God for daily provision, sustained health and believing God for enormous provision to fund the vision He has given us.
In March, the Lord gave us the release to go and "scout the land". This only after 16 months of believing and contending for it and wondering when. When the Lord showed us that we could go, again, we had to trust Him for the "how". I had a brother who gave us frequent flyer miles that we used to get as far as 4 hours west of our destination. That was a beautiful gift! We had a friend from years ago, send us a check as they felt led to sow into our ministry and this trip. That covered the rental car and gas. Praise God! And we had a couple other friends send us a donation which filled in for our home expense needs. All we had left was the place we would stay. God showed up again. Most of the places to stay besides hotels, though they were expensive too, were $225 and up a night. Yikes! Well, after much looking with no results, I had an inkling in my spirit to just send a note to a few of the airbnb owners to see if they would consider a lower rate, like $50 a night. What did we have to lose. The worst they could say is no. We had one respond back and said he would offer us his 2500 square foot cabin with full kitchen, laundry, 3 bedrooms and 2 bath home for only $75 a night! His going rate is $225! Wow!!!!! He saw my signature line on email and responded that he loved the Lord too. That was huge! Our ministry board approved use of funds to cover any unmet expenses for the trip.
What do you do when you have these "God given expectations and then you find out they are nothing what it appeared?"
We felt the Lord showed us a specific property in January 2017. 1 Corinthians 13:9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! And this verse is the TRUTH! Long story short, but the property we were led to was not what the pictures depicted. The property was run down and would need much intensive labor. But also, the drive up to the property was treacherous and didn't appeal to us nor do we think our retreat guests would like it either. In much confusion and hurt wee crossed this house off our list!!!
We looked at many properties and all were quite stunning, but limited acreage and so it seemed like nothing was available that would meet the requirements for the vision God has been showing us. So many property limitations and restrictions. We felt defeated, deflated and discouraged! Asking, did we really hear you God? Do you have something different for us? Can we trust that we hear your voice? (John 10 says we do the know the shepherds voice and the voice of a stranger we will not follow)
What is God up to??? Is he killing the vision? Is He growing our faith? Is He testing us? Lord speak to us............
When we got back from our trip, honestly, we didn't want to speak to anyone about it. We knew if we did, we would speak "against" everything God had been speaking to us. We were wanting to be very careful with our words, because our hearts and thoughts were not in a good place. We had to hear God. We had to reconcile what was happening in our mind and spirit. We had to release and surrender the vision once again. We had to go back to square one and see if God really wants this for us.
In my quiet time over the past two weeks, the Lord reminded me of two different points to act on!
1. "This is a test" - He reminded me of a book I read years ago by Os Hillman, The Upside of Adversity. The context of the book is about Joseph's life and how when God gives you a vision, He then puts you through 4 tests - "so that the trials and testing come so that your faith which is greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire may be proved genuine" 1 Peter 1:7. The 4 tests are:
- Judas - will you choose to follow Jesus and abandon your will for His will.
- Integrity - will you do the right thing when no one is watching, but God!
- Perseverance - will you persevere and believe in what the Lord has shown you even know in the natural - it looks hopeless.
- Success - this is where the Lord EITHER gives you back the vision He placed in you OR He shows you a different one!
I sensed the Lord reminded me that we have passed the first two and are in the "perseverance" test but coming into our "success" test soon.
2. "What is it you want and where is it you want to be?" Back in 2007, the Lord asked me these two questions once a month for 14 months. And then He even sent a prophetess Joni Ames to me asking these two very questions! This story is a blog in itself, so I will just say that God was asking me What do I want to do in life AND Where do I want to do it? He was asking me to write the vision and make it plain - Habukkuk 2:2.
Do either of these 2 points speak to you? Act on them if so!
Do either of these 2 points speak to you? Act on them if so!
Before I go on to the rest of the blog, this devotional today really sums up and confirms the adversity we continue to go through.
Streams in the Desert Devotional
We went through fire and through water: but you brought us out into an abundant place (Ps. 66:12).
Paradoxical though it be, only that man is at rest who attains it through conflict. This peace, born of conflict, is not like the deadly hush preceding the tempest, but the serene and pure-aired quiet that follows it.
It is not generally the prosperous one, who has never sorrowed, who is strong and at rest. His quality has never been tried, and he knows not how he can stand even a gentle shock. He is not the safest sailor who never saw a tempest; he will do for fair-weather service, but when the storm is rising, place at the important post the man who has fought out a gale, who has tested the ship, who knows her hulk sound, her rigging strong, and her anchor-flukes able to grasp and hold by the ribs of the world.
When first affliction comes upon us, how everything gives way! Our clinging, tendril hopes are snapped, and our heart lies prostrate like a vine that the storm has torn from its trellis; but when the first shock is past, and we are able to look up, and say, "It is the Lord," faith lifts the shattered hopes once more, and binds them fast to the feet of God. Thus the end is confidence, safety, and peace.
--Selected
--Selected
The adverse winds blew against my life;
My little ship with grief was tossed;
My plans were gone--heart full of strife,
And all my hope seemed to be lost--
"Then He arose"--one word of peace.
"There was a calm"--a sweet release.
My little ship with grief was tossed;
My plans were gone--heart full of strife,
And all my hope seemed to be lost--
"Then He arose"--one word of peace.
"There was a calm"--a sweet release.
A tempest great of doubt and fear
Possessed my mind; no light was there
To guide, or make my vision clear.
Dark night! 'twas more than I could bear--
"Then He arose," I saw His face--
"There was a calm" filled with His grace.
Possessed my mind; no light was there
To guide, or make my vision clear.
Dark night! 'twas more than I could bear--
"Then He arose," I saw His face--
"There was a calm" filled with His grace.
My heart was sinking 'neath the wave
Of deepening test and raging grief;
All seemed as lost, and none could save,
And nothing could bring me relief--
"Then He arose"--and spoke one word,
"There was a calm!" IT IS THE LORD.
--L. S. P.
Of deepening test and raging grief;
All seemed as lost, and none could save,
And nothing could bring me relief--
"Then He arose"--and spoke one word,
"There was a calm!" IT IS THE LORD.
--L. S. P.
I want to share the positive side of our "scouting the land" trip!
First and foremost - there are NO giants that will keep us from going! Praise God!!! We will have much to learn and overcome, but nothing that would scare us away! God is with us!
First and foremost - there are NO giants that will keep us from going! Praise God!!! We will have much to learn and overcome, but nothing that would scare us away! God is with us!
We had connected with two people from YWAM January 2017 in the area and we got to spend 3 different times with them - visiting, eating, worship and prayer. It was awesome! Great connections!
Our realtor was awesome! We are on the same page spiritually and that made for a great start to a friendship!
We went to an incredible church and met the pastors and another couple. We had the freedom to prophesy to them. One couple wanted to connect again, so we met for "Huckleberry Italian Soda's" later in the week. Huckleberries are my new favorite fruit!!!!! If you haven't had one, you're missing out. They are like a blueberry but with a hint of something else. Deeeeeelicious!
The people everywhere we went were friendly and helpful. We were well received!!
We had a great visit with a few others we had been talking to over the past 16 months.
We had great food! We fell in love with the area, the views, the small town feel but with big city restaurants, shopping, etc. We know that we can be happy there! (Come on God, let's do this)
Since we've returned, new relationships continue to form and grow. That's exciting. We have since spoken to the Zoning and Planning Department there and because we are a "retreat" center, what we want to do adding cabins around the property IS ACCEPTABLE AND ALLOWED in most zones and areas! So we are not limited like we thought! Praise Jesus!
Our realtor sent us a new listing and from the pictures and in talking with the zoning department, this may be a perfect fit for us. Of course, we don't have confidence in pictures alone, so our incredible realtor is going to FaceTime with us and take us to the property! Love technology, don't you!
With all this to say - we are bouncing back and hope is coming back into our hearts. We feel the vision has been given back to us (not really taken away) just confirming it's still the same one. So, the only thing hindering us from going is PROVISION!!! We have to continue to trust God will meet the need in His perfect timing! Where we wanted to throw in the towel and walk away,
God had different plans and threw the towel back to us!
We want to thank those who have invested their time in prayer for us, those who have sown into us and our ministry as well. Please do so. Honestly, it humbles me when I hear that you pray for us daily or often. And even more so, when a check comes in the mail unexpectedly and it's exactly what we need to meet our bills. Thank YOU! Luke 6:38!
Prayer requests:
Ken - his back is hurting more and more from the heavy lifting and up/down on ladders at work. Please pray for healing. Please pray for sleep - the work schedule, early hours, has really taken a toll on both of us and now his hours are reduced to 15 a week. Please also pray for GRACE to continue until such time God moves us.
Michele - please pray for my sleep mostly. I really think if I got consistent sleep, I would feel better and have energy and ability to do more. I still need healing in my right knee as I can't bend it much and my lower back limits me in so many ways. Please pray that things I post for sale would sell!
Ministry - Please pray for the provision to come to move forward! Grace has completely lifted for us here and we know it's time to move on. Very similar to when we left KC and moved here. We know the time is near.
