Letting Go is Difficult

For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 

2 Timothy 1:7

Is there a time in your life when you felt like everything was spinning out of control? Has one thing after another been taken away from you and you're now just waiting for the other shoe to drop?  

Letting go is difficult......

Wednesday morning, in my quiet time, I felt the Lord told me that July was going to be a whirlwind month.  I sensed that there was going to be some fast changes maybe relating to my health - a miracle of healing, or even a miracle of provision so we could step into the destiny God is calling us too.  And maybe those things are still coming.......

But instead, that same Wednesday night, our dog Blazer who was turning 13 this month, had sudden heart failure and we had to put him down.  That day, he was playful and hippy hop as Ken called him, bouncing around wanting treats.  By 8pm, I noticed that he was breathing fast.  I had noticed this for the past few weeks but chalked it up to the heat.  But that night was different.  Ken

noticed it too and he went over to him and felt his heart beat.  It was racing and it put off some kind of vibration.  We also noticed that he would take a breath in and his stomach would go in, then he would let out a moan.  We called our local vet not knowing if they did after hour calls.  By 9pm the vet called and we were on our way into have Blazer checked out.  Blazer couldn't even stand up.  Ken had to carry him to the car and the sound he made when Ken picked him up was painful and piercing.  The vet said his heart was beating way too fast and had an irregular heart beat.  He also thought maybe a mass or some bleeding from his spleen due to the moans he would make touching him in the abdomen.  The vet said he was definitely in serious pain and we had two options... 1. take him to KC to the emergency vet and see if there was anything they could do or 2. put him down as he was 13 years old and even if the emergency vet could do something, how long would that really prolong his life.  (His breed life expectancy is 10-12 years).  

Our hearts were breaking.  Ken and I felt we had no real choice.  We didn't have the financial resources to take him to KC.....and we did not want to see him suffer any longer.  Putting a dog down is hard as it is, but putting a dog down suddenly - only 1 hour of knowing anything was wrong with him, is traumatic.  Our dogs are family to us.  This is the 4th dog we've had to put down in the past 30 years.  It never gets easier.  

Canyon, our other dog, is 15 years old. (His breed life expectancy is 10-12 years).  He has been experiencing muscle atrophy in his hind legs and is doing ok, but not great.  He is definitely missing Blazer and is constantly looking for him.  We thought he would be the first of the two to go.  This is where the fear of the other shoe dropping comes in.

I am experiencing much fear.... fear of Canyon's death....fear of being alone (no dog).  We've had a dog our entire married life.  Fear of maybe God taking Ken.  I know these are irrational and not from God, but they are real.  To non dog lovers, you're probably thinking, get over it. But to dog lovers, I think you understand what I'm feeling.  

Years ago, I sensed God was not wanting us to have any other dogs after these two (at least for a while)....maybe because He has told us we will be going back to Peru, maybe because it would be too much getting the retreat property built, or maybe something entirely different.  Gods thought are not my thoughts.  

With all the tragedies happening in America and around the world, the increase in terrorism and violence, Sonlit Fields is needed more than ever.  We sense an urgency and yet cannot do anything unless God makes it happen and yet we want His will and His timing and more than ever His Presence.  

I know we will get through this and grieving won't last forever......but it is extra hard this time.  Would you please pray for us...for me....for the fear of dread to be gone?  

Would you please pray for provision for our daily needs? 

Would you please pray for provision for the vision of Sonlit Fields? 

Would you please pray for my total and complete healing God has promised?

For all of you who have posted on Facebook, called, texted or messaged us regarding Blazer, thank you!   It means a lot to us.  We are so thankful for your ongoing friendship.  

Vision

God has given us a vision to build a retreat property along with ministry equipping center.  

The retreat portion of our ministry is to provide a safe place for pastors, lay leaders & other ministry folks to come and be refreshed & encouraged through prophetic ministry (if wanted).  We will offer 30-50 private cabins with kitchens & full bathrooms, screened in porches and plenty of places to roam on the property to get quiet with the Lord. 

We will offer other specialty retreats - marriage, healing, prophetic teaching & activating, health and wellness retreats and more.  

The Lord has graced us with the desire to come alongside the Church - to bring healing, deliverance & freedom to new/newer believers.  We are not wanting to replace their church, but more help them be ready to serve in their church. 

In our community building - we will have a 24/7 (eventually)  prayer room, healing & prophetic rooms and a place for community worship services for those on the property.  

Our passion is to minister to a lost & hurting world.   To equip the saints to do the same and to be a blessing to our community and surrounding areas.  Our hopes are that we can pour out God's love in a mighty way to bring more and more into the Kingdom, get them discipled, called into their purpose & destiny and released to do God's business!!!! 

I'm a consultant with Thrive Life Foods - 25 year food storage.  I am happy to help you get a long term food pantry started.   If you are interested in more information, please contact me or visit my website at https://michelecole.thrivelife.com.   

Bless YOU.  Thank you for caring for us, praying for us and standing with us!  If there is anything you need prayer for, please let us know.  We are happy to!!!

If you have been blessed by this ministry or feel led to support what God is doing through us - financially, below are a few options.  Your generosity and your prayer support is greatly appreciated and needed as we continue to walk in faith and God's calling. 

Megablessings  - 

Ken & Michele Cole

http://www.wantinsight.com

michele@wantinsight.com, ken@wantinsight.com

Tax deductible & non tax deductible donations can be made: 

1.  Checks made payable to Sonlit Fields, PO Box 371, El Dorado Springs, MO 64744 or if you prefer anonymous giving - you can give through our Donor Fund 

2.  Non tax deductible donations can be made directly to us by:  THIS IS THE FASTEST WAY TO GET MONEY TO US FOR DAILY USE. 

 Paypal - www.paypal.com  (michele@wantinsight.com) 

3. Donor Fund - Contact National Christian Foundation - Ken & Michele Cole - Want InSight Fund - We will be changing this in the near future.   Tax deductible 

    706 North Lindenwood Drive

    Olathe, KS 66062

    Phone: 913.310.0279

    Fax: 913.227.0254     www.nationalchristian.com 

Copyright © 2016, Michele A. Cole  All rights reserved.  Only with expressed written permission will these posts be allowed to be duplicated, copied or transmitted.