The LORD sustains him on his sickbed; in his illness you restore him to full health. Psalm 41:3
Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise. Jeremiah 17:14
In my last blog, I shared about a sudden intense pain coming on me June 13th. It seemed to come out of nowhere. Ken and I immediately changed our eating style - to limited to no sugar, no gluten, limited to no dairy, low low healthy fats only, mostly vegetables, lean protein and gluten free - almond flour, increased fiber meals. Eating some fruit - mostly in the way of fresh made, no sugar applesauce. Ken and I have both lost 20+ pounds and are thankful for that. God has given us so much grace to enjoy this and to continue to make this a lifestyle. Not that I won't ever eat something sweet again, or a piece of bread maybe, but for now, I am quite content.
I'm not soliciting empathy or sympathy here - just to explain. This pain is in my right side, radiating into my back and sometimes up into the shoulder blade area. The pain is on a scale of 1-10 typically a 10 - with an intense burning pain that comes on as well. Nothing I take or eat seems to have any influence good or bad. I recently began doing some back stretches hoping for some relief. I will say I had a "decent" day of pain just a couple of days ago. Thankful for every bit of reprieve.
This past 10 weeks has been both an answer to prayer and probably the biggest test of my faith I've experienced in my walk with the Lord. And believe me when I say, I've been tested repeatedly since I gave my life to the Lord in 2002.
Prayer 1 - God help me to find a way to eat healthier again.
For the past 5 years, our ministry has been mostly focused on "feeding & praying for people. That meant cooking gourmet (the only way I knew how) high fat, sugary foods. Well, when you do the math - we had estimated maybe upwards 1000 gourmet meals over the past 5+ years. We love to eat, but we never used to eat this much rich, buttery food on that regular of a basis. So = the answer came through the pain.
Prayer 2 - God I want to lose weight.
I used to be a skinny size 4 at age 30. After much health issues and more steroid injections than a body can handle, weight began to pile on. My endocrinoligist in 2012 said that even one steroid injection can cause upwards 2-3# gain. I had over 100 in a period of a few years. This eating lifestyle has helped me to lose weight which has been nearly impossible with the inability to exercise. So I am extremely thankful......not for the pain, but the answered prayer.
Prayer 3 - God I need to get off Excedrin.
God has given me some great reprieve from 35 years of migraines... over the past few years.. but I will still taking 5-10 Excedrin a month... after 35 years of continuous use, I knew it had to be taking a toll on my liver and kidneys and who knows what else. I can say that I have not had even one Excedrin since 6/13. I've had just a couple of headaches but God gave me the grace to endure. What a blessing to have God answer this prayer.
Prayer 4 - God I want to trust You more. I want to know You at a deeper level.
Oh, be careful what you pray for. That's actually a book I'm in process of writing. When you pray a dangerous prayer like that, His ears perk up and He answers you quickly. The pain I have endured in the past 10 weeks has been the worst healing crisis I think I've been through. And in 2012 I was near death with adrenal failure. Some days I cry hours on end because of the pain. A month before this pain began, someone "prophesied" I had a tumor. I immediately renounced that thought.... and now I pray in the spirit sometimes every minute, I decree God's word. I believe for my healing and yet the enemy has come at me with an endless, relentless arsenal of "stinking thinking" that tried to persuade me to take on every life threatening illness. He's trying hard to get me to come into agreement! NO!!! In my quiet time, the Lord had told me that this all was a smokescreen. This was a huge attack from the enemy - that the Lord allowed - to show me that I was capable of standing firm and taking the ground - conquering the giants as we are about to step into our promise land. I am weary, weak, exhausted and yet I am strong in spirit! My mind is renewed and is being renewed at such a deeper level. My time with the Lord is valued and cherished more than I ever had before. It's such a joy and something I long for each day. Another prayer answered!
This passage here says it all:
He (Abraham) is our example and father, for in God’s presence he believed that God can raise the dead and call into being things that don’t even exist yet. 18 Against all odds, when it looked hopeless, Abraham believed the promise and expected God to fulfill it. He TOOK God at his WORD Romans 4:17-18
20–21 He never stopped believing God’s promise, for he was made strong in his faith to father a child. And because he was mighty in faith and CONVINCED that God had all the power needed to fulfill his promises, Abraham GLORIFIED God!
This trial has quickened my resolve, given me such a boldness in my walk. It has forced me to draw a line in the sand and put me on the side of God - the side of faith - that says I believe God and I will trust in His unfailing love and mercy. God has blessed me with a few faithful prayer warriors who have been contending for my healing with me. It's showing me how good God is - and HIs love for me. These friends are checking in on me almost daily and fighting hard in the natural and in the spirit for my healing. There are many who pray for me and I am thankful. I know that I know that I will have Victory over my health. The enemy tries to bring on fear, anxiety - but I stop him and tell him NO!!! I'm not going down that road again. I've been set free by the Son indeed!
But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. 2 Corinthians 2:14
And one final note - that this trial has done for me.....
I am so thankful for God's patient, everlasting, ever pursuing, faithful love! It has taken me a very very long time to reach this place in my walk.....trusting in God's love through pain & suffering. And even if the healing doesn't come (though I am confident in will soon) I will still trust and love My Lord and Savior and serve Him to the best of my ability.
What are you believing God for? Will you take Him at His Word? Will you push through - endure through intense long suffering to trust that you will see His goodness? It's a process, but God is good and will lead you if you let Him. He is faithful and you can trust Him for ALL the promises He has spoken to you - both through His Word and in your spirit.
All of these same promises Ken and I have been contending for with moving into destiny have been similar in testing of our faith. Against all odds, against all "border bullies" - we are standing in faith and trust that God will do what He has promised to do!!!!
If you have something you need prayer for, please feel free to reach out. I would love to stand in the gap for you. If it weren't so many wonderful prayer warriors coming alongside me, I may not be where I am. I haven't arrived.... but I am so much farther than I was. Praise the Lord!