Go at once to Zarephath in the region of Sidon and stay there. I have directed a widow there to supply you with food. 1 King 17:9Have you ever come to a place in your walk with the Lord where you don't know what way to step? Feeling hedged in and trapped?
Helpless? Hopeless? Discouraged? Trapped? Hedged in? Stuck? These are a few of the terms that describe where I am at lately. (and Ken too sometimes) I can go on and say thankful, blessed, loved, encouraged and more because we are.... but for the sake of where my heart is right this moment, it's more on the first set of adjectives. I'm stuck. I cannot shake these feelings no matter how hard I try. I have isolated myself intentionally - no Facebook, limited response to text and email (so if you tried contacting me and I didn't respond, this is why). I've been wanting to only hear God's voice. No outside or other voices to distract or sway.
I'm not looking for a pity party - I'm just being transparent. We have been believing and contending for years for promises God has spoken to us. I know we are not the only ones. There are many I've personally spoken to and am hearing similar journeys. So, what's this all about? God where are you? What are you doing, Lord?
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time
we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
The brook has dried up here. Ken has been looking for work and even I have - but NO doors are opening! The painting gig has stopped completely. I don't think it's asking much for God to open the door for a $20-30k a year income if we are to stay put for a while longer. Really? We have learned to live off very little. Poverty limits are $16,240 for 2 people. We make just over 1/2 that. We are thankful for what God has allowed us to earn and He has been faithful to make the numbers work? I can't figure that out. God knows our need and we are so appreciative He sends beautiful people to bring us food. Bags of fresh kale, beets, radish, eggs and cilantro. Isn't this a wonderful sight to see! I am truly thankful for all God is doing despite how it looks to us.
I had no idea when I first got saved that when I prayed Lord, I want world overcoming faith, that we would have this incredibly hard walk of faith. I was and am naive obviously.
Back in January, we felt God gave us a pretty clear word on what was next for us.....and backed it up with probably at least 100 or more confirmations and they are still coming. We have knocked on the doors of this but nothing has opened there either. We would like to scout the land He is showing us and would probably have more success in finding work/rental if we did.....but until Canyon, our dog passes, that's not an option either. He is still plugging along, showing more signs of weakness but not quite at the place of saying it's time.
We feel so hedged in. Stuck. We know God has more for us than this. We have done all and continue to do what we've heard God ask of us We are not trying to be discontent with our surroundings or even circumstances. We just are dying on the vine! Well, maybe not dying, well maybe.... life just feels it's been sucked out of us. We have had several tell us we should come back to KC. We hear you. We've applied at several jobs but no doors opening there and we would be in a higher rent situation moving there. We don't feel God telling us to go back to our Egypt. We do feel God is saying stay the course, hold fast and He will not fail us. That's what we are clinging to.
Our desire is to walk in the fullness of what He is calling us to do. We want to get the retreat property up and running and start ministering and equipping all He brings to us. That brings us joy and life! That would be fulfilling! (The vision listed at end of this blog)
Our plans are big! If they weren't it wouldn't be God! Only God can make this happen!
"If God is your partner, make your plans BIG!" - D.L. Moody
So, what's next? We really don't know. We will keep trying to find sufficient work/income. We will continue to press into the Lord and seek His will. We will do our best to trust Him for provision and strength to continue this race. We will continue to praise Him and believe He is good and He is sovereign.
Psalm 20[a]For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
3 May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.[b]
4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
5 May we shout for joy over your victory
and lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the Lord grant all your requests.
6 Now this I know:
The Lord gives victory to his anointed.
He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary
with the victorious power of his right hand.
7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.
9 Lord, give victory to the king!
Answer us when we call!
Blessings to you and your families!
Thank YOU so much for your ongoing support, love and care for us and our ministry. We are honored to be able to pray for those who reach out to us. Please let me know if you have any prayer needs.
If you have been blessed by this ministry or feel led to support what God is doing through us - financially, below are a few options. Your generosity and your prayer support is greatly appreciated and needed as we continue to walk in faith and God's calling.
Megablessings -
Ken & Michele Cole
http://www.wantinsight.com
michele@wantinsight.com, ken@wantinsight.com
Tax deductible & non tax deductible donations can be made:
1. Checks made payable to Sonlit Fields, PO Box 371, El Dorado Springs, MO 64744 or if you prefer anonymous giving - you can give through our Donor Fund
2. Non tax deductible donations can be made directly to us by: THIS IS THE FASTEST WAY TO GET MONEY TO US FOR DAILY USE.
Paypal - www.paypal.com (michele@wantinsight.com)
3. Donor Fund - Contact National Christian Foundation - Ken & Michele Cole - Want InSight Fund - Tax deductible
7171 W. 95th Street, Suite 501
Overland Park, KS 66212
Phone: 913.310.0279
Fax: 913.227.0254 www.nationalchristian.com
Vision
God has given us a vision to build a retreat property along with ministry equipping center.
The retreat portion of our ministry is to provide a safe place for pastors, lay leaders & other ministry folks to come and be refreshed & encouraged through prophetic ministry (if wanted). We will offer private cabins with kitchens & full bathrooms, and plenty of places to roam on the property to get quiet with the Lord.
We will offer other specialty retreats - marriage, healing, prophetic teaching & activating people into the world & health and wellness retreats and more.
The Lord has graced us with the desire to come alongside the Church - to bring healing, deliverance & freedom to new/newer believers. We are not wanting to replace their church, but better help them be ready to serve in their church.
In our community building - we will eventually have a 24/7 prayer room, healing & prophetic rooms and a place for community worship services for those on the property.
Our passion is to minister to a lost & hurting world. To equip the saints to do the same and to be a blessing to our community and surrounding areas. Our hopes are that we can pour out God's love in a mighty way to bring more and more souls into the Kingdom, get them discipled, called into their purpose & destiny and released to do God's business!!!! We also have a passion to give generously to help those in need and to help others launch into their God given destinies.
It's a confounding strategy really, one in which I often find myself needing to be freshly renewed to. The verse above from Jeremiah is both piercing and powerful! Often, when we find ourselves striving for an open door at the Inn, God is saying, 
God measures differently than what is seen on earth. Some of us are supposed to sow what others will later reap. And still, sometimes we get to reap what others have sown. Rarely do we find ourselves in a place of doing both, yet that is precisely the measurement we too often apply. We may be sowing with God abundantly during a season but may not realize it because we are actually measuring ourselves based on reaping, and vice versa.
As Elisha prayed for the young man, my family and I pray for you now – for the new lenses of your heart to come alive. In the name of Jesus, we release new vision over you and your circumstances, to see the manger around you the way God sees it, ready to give birth to the best prizes and promises God can measure.
